Yes, I realise that only I am interested in the drawings I do on my IPhone. But since this is still my blog, last time I checked, then I am going to inflict them on you. To make things more palatable, I will include character biographies for each wonderful sketch. Enjoy.
Brian The IPhone Man
Brian is a big fan of UK-Hip Hop sensation, MC Lizzy Duke. He estimates that he has listened to her DVLA based rap track, ‘Straight Outta Swansea’, no less than 30,000 times. On Fridays, he likes to dip his feet in to paint and create “crazy footsteps” on the highways (and by-ways) of Norwich. Brian smells.
Doris is an IPhone Lady
Doris hates the fact that she is called Doris. When she meets new people, she calls herself ‘Bump Bump Bump, Grind your booty all night, yeah yeah yeah, You get me?’. Nobody knows why. Doris once wore a vest for over a year, as a protest against ants. Doris wonders whether having breast implants filled with helium will allow her to fly. She has one hairy leg and one smooth, so that at night she can feel like she is snuggled up to a macho, macho man. She adores “Magic Tree” air freshener.
Derek Looks To The Heavens
Derek likes to shout his catchphrase, “Flexible”, in as many shopping malls as he can. He has currently done it in 3 malls. He is quite lazy. Derek is a big fan of the singer Lemar, mainly because he believes he is a supernatural entity. Derek holds a weekly seance, but has yet to summon Lemar. Derek thinks it is hot in here. He won’t take off all his clothes.
Jimmy Jimmy, His legs are electric.
Jimmy is noted for his floating eyebrows. He has had them since birth and was subject to bullying at school about them. That is until he commanded the eyebrows, Hawk and Dove, to attack. Nobody was killed, and Jimmy was fully acquitted. His favourite hobby is ballroom dancing but he has yet to dance with another person.
Natalia Is Hiding.
Natalia sounds more Russian than she actually is. Natalia wishes she was born in 1920, but she wasn’t. She believes that “The Kids From Fame” are a message from god, and refuses to leave the house without legwarmers. When she is alone, Natalia likes to pop a cats paw in her mouth. It’s not as weird as it sounds.
Howard is not from Halifax
Howard’s way is the only way. He likes to wrestle goats. He is THE man. End of.
[...] October 2008 by sherby57 Yesterday, I wrote about my (imaginary) friend Brian and his love of “Straight Outta Swansea” by MC Lizzy Duke. Overnight, I have been [...]
Hmmm. Flexible.
Once i chalked the word ‘knave’ onto someone cheek. It was satisfying and i can heartily recommend it, for say, if you’ve got 5 minutes to kill before you invite the Ottoman empire around for a game of hungry hippos.
your pal
Dr. A
It takes great skill to use chalk on a human face. Sadly for most of us, this is a past-time beyond our frail human capabilities. We bow to your superiority dearest Doc.
well, you see the skill is in rebooting the mainframe to cause a disruption in the synaptic cleft. the rest is a piece of piss.