When ‘Fireheart! The Movie’ was announced in August last year (Coming Soon), the internet went in to meltdown, with fan-boys exploding in anticipation of the Summer 2008 release date. The summer has been and gone, and yet the movie never materialised. Plagued by problems including the Writer’s strike, the credit crunch, and an outbreak of the Ebola virus, the film looked to be a non-starter. That might be about to change.
Veteran British director Stanley Giggleswick has been on board since the beginning and has no intentions of letting Fireheart remain stuck in development hell. Giggleswick, director of films such as Scratchcard Madness, The Hairy Dog and Riding The Waltzers, has been gracious enough to grant us an exclusive interview.
S57: The talk on internet forums is that the Fireheart movie is dead in the water, and William Hill’s are offering odds of 3000-1 that the film will never be released. What is your position on the progress of the movie?
SG: There is an awful lot of tosh spoken on that bloody internet thingy. Sure, there have been oodles of probs with the movie so far, but with a movie of this size, that’s par for the course. My second film, George Buys A Car, took thirteen years to make. There just wasn’t any internet around in those days for the rumour-mongerers.
S57: You mention that it’s a large film, some report that the budget is approaching $300 million, does this put you under a lot of pressure to deliver.
SG: Firstly, let me stop you before you even begin. I don’t know where you have plucked this fantasy fisgure of $300 million from, but it’s absolute nonsense. I don’t know where you people get off, making up stories like this with no compunction. For your information, if this film comes in over £297 million then I’m not only a Dutchman, but the flying Dutchman. Secondly, I’m not under pressure. You don’t mess with the Giggleswick.
S57: Could you give us an update on where things stand?
SG: Surely. We had intended to do the whole thing on green screen, a la Sin City, but Ivan Bollockov, my D.O.P, is colour blind, so it wasn’t really working out. Instead, we’re building an entire replica of Greater Londonbury in the Australian outback. It will be magnificent when finished, it covering over 400 square miles of land. We envisage this being done and dusted some time in the next decade, at which point we will begin immediately with principal photography.
S57: Does this mean that you have cast the major roles already?
SG: I couldn’t possible answer that at this stage, but yes, we have.
S57: Any hints on who you might have cast? There have been a lot of rumours linking Fred Savage, of the Wonder Years, with the role.
SG: I will tell you this, and tell you this once. If you ask me any more questions, I will physically destroy you and all your children.
S57: Stanley Giggleswick, thank you.
SG: Thanks.
[...] 3. Fireheart! The Movie – Meet the Director – The lazy sod still hasn’t released the film. The fans are becoming rabid. [...]