The week’s TV kicks off with a new series of Bobby Makeup: Bad Magician (Monday), in which bad magician, Bobby Makeup, attempts to make a ball disappear from under a cup. Needless to say, he fails miserably. It’s a brave decision to have a magic show featuring someone completely inept at illusion. It’s brave but ultimately stupid, it’s an awful show and completely cringe-inducing. Make sure you watch it.
Another ill-advised format is the interactive medical drama, Text City Hospital (Wednesday). We’re now 12 episodes in to the run and it still isn’t any slicker. For those of you lucky enough not to have seen it, here’s how it works: The cast are given an initial script which lasts for the first 5 minutes of the show and then the viewers are invited to send text messages of all subsequent lines of dialogue. All the suggestions are processed by super-drama computer, Harry, and the ‘best’ lines are fed in to a autocue on the set. This would be fine if the technology weren’t 50 years behind where it should be for such a project. This is best demonstrated by an extract of a scene from last week:
DR BUNGALOW: Wot iz da mata wiv u
PATIENT: suk ma cock u nob
NURSE: I’ve got a big penis, do u want to see it?
DR BUNGALOW: Errrr u iz mingin
etc
Please don’t watch this show, it will probably reduce your IQ. Finally this week is hit game show Fish Cake or Not Fish Cake (Friday), in which contestants compete to win a £25,000 jackpot if they can correctly identify a fish cake. Like many of these shows, it’s completely random, but host John Fashanu manages to build up the tension and it makes for riveting viewing. It’s no coincidence that fish cake sales have soared by 300% since the series began.
Keep on watching telly, it might just save your life.
Text hospital is genius. It is so funny that a bit of snot came out of my nose when I laughed. I am truly a lady of victorian enigmnatic proportions. Almost mona lisa like. Or a mysterious lone, charismatic whimsical woman in an impressionist painting.
There are a surprising number of fans of Text City Hospital and the viewing figures are through the roof. Expect the format to be rolled out: Text City Blue (police), Text School Musical and The Text Factor.
Would you be interested in selling the format to your Victorian, enigmatic snot based female art concept? I think I could sell it to Channel 5 as a cookery show.
I have my own channel 5 ideas, stay tuned for them.
I wait for them with baited breath. It’s baited with maggots so I’d prefer it if you hurried; they’re really squirming.
[...] up is yet more shit drama. Does anybody remember short-lived interactive drama Text City Hospital? Well the format has been unwisely resurrected in the guise of police drama Tweet Town Blue [...]