I once did a painting of a giant frog. It was bloody lovely, very much in the leg sense. I toured the portrait up and down the land and heartily enjoyed the gasps of delight which it produced.
I was offered a seven-figure sum for the picture from a particularly funky Russian oligarch. He wanted to hang it in a disco that he had installed in an enormous custom-built fridge.
Despite the fantastic wealth on offer, I could not bear to part with my magnificent work of art.
If you’d like to see it, then please apply in the form of a mental bombardment. Expect your reply in the form of sky-writing. Good luck.
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[...] Giant Frog – I describe a painting that I did of a giant frog. [...]