Ivan was terrible. He had been rehearsing the scene for the last three weeks, but he simply couldn’t remember his lines. Why had he picked the notoriously tricky “Hamburglar Inauguration Speech” for his big audition? He was never going to get a place in the Jim Bowen Academy for the Performing Arts at this rate. Becoming a student at the JBAPA was all that Ivan had ever dreamt of, and he could feel it all slipping away.
He pulled on his kagoul and decided to go for a walk. He hoped that the crisp autumn air would help him get past whatever blockage it was that was blocking him. He felt like a pitta bread that was crammed so full of doner meat that all the salad has fallen out and was generally impossible to eat. He pondered which part of his life would be represented by the chilli sauce, and it took him a good hour before he realised that the metaphor didn’t stretch that far.
When he awoke from his reverie, he realised that he was deep within the bowels of the local cemetery and was standing in front of President Hamburglar’s grave. Ivan felt destiny calling as he read the words of the historic speech, engraved into the tombstone. As he reached the line, ‘all great men must one day steal meat’, he felt a single tear roll down his ruggedly handsome face.
Ivan looked to the sky and thanked the universe. His dream would be coming true after all.
[...] The President’s Speech – A moving story about an actor trying to remember his lines and his unusual source of inspiration. [...]