There’s hardly a day that goes by in which I don’t turn into a toasted teacake. I don’t know why this happens. I assume that it’s some kind of magical curse. It can be quite a pain in the neck. Although, of course, I don’t have a neck to have a pain in when I’m a teacake.
Sometimes I wish I could eat myself. I’m full of currants and dripping with delicious melted butter. I’m literally hot stuff. I don’t really know where the butter goes when I turn back into a human; there’s never as much as a greasy smudge on the sofa. It must be part of the magic.
Anyway, I’m learning to live a normal life under such strange circumstances. It can be quite relaxing to spend a couple of hours every day just chilling as a bread-based snack. It’s almost worth having an argument with a grumpy witch just to get yourself cursed. You’re more than welcome to come round and visit me when I’m in my bun-form. Just please remember not to eat me.
[...] Toasted Teacake – What would it be like to be an inanimate object? Would it make any difference if the inanimate object was a delicious bread-based snack? I challenge your preconceptions by putting myself in the role of a human-teacake hybrid. What would you do if you were a bun? [...]