Donald was an intellectual giant. On the whole he liked being hyper-intelligent but he was finding it increasingly difficult to talk to ordinary folk. Despite being a bona-fide genius, Don was an inherently humble man and hated that he was forced to look down upon the majority of the population. He was determined to find a solution to the problem. He spent many long days and nights attempting to find a logical answer to the quandary, but he was getting nowhere. He was quite unnerved as he was so used to his intellect being able to destroy any obstacles in his path. Realising that he needed to take a different approach, Don decided to explore a spiritual alternative. Many of his colleagues at the university were full of praise for local reiki guru Kristina Akabusi. He found her phone number and booked an appointment immediately.
Don arrived at the healer’s home and knocked on the door. He was surprised when Guru Akabusi answered the door and was revealed to be a beautiful, young woman with an impeccable sense of style. Don had expected a spiritual guide to be some wizened, old crone. He scolded himself for having jumped to such clichéd conclusions. It was almost as if Guru Akabusi had taught him an important lesson already. It bode well.
He was invited into the house and she asked him to follow her to the relaxation chamber. As he walked behind her, Don couldn’t help but notice her stylish, yet unusual skirt. The hem floated in a most mysterious way and looked like it needed to be pulled down even though it actually didn’t need to be. It was as if even her clothes prompted philosophical questions. Don was impressed by Kristina before their session had even begun.
Once in the chamber, Don reclined on a sofa and Kristina sat opposite him on a chair. He couldn’t help but notice again how immaculate she looked and how at odds her loveliness was with his preconceptions of a spiritual leader. As if reading his mind, Kristina answered his unspoken question.
‘Donald, the reasons for my appearance are two-fold. Firstly, it takes a great deal of effort to make myself look this good. There’s no end of maintenance in being a modern woman that men find hard to fathom. It takes much of my precious time to adhere to my beauty regime and by making such a sacrifice, I feel that I’m paying directly into the life force of the universe. Secondly, the combination of my natural and inner beauties is so radiant that the rest of the world would seem dull in comparison. For this reason I must conceal my true form as it would be unfair on the rest of humanity. To be fair, that sounds a bit big-headed, but, you know, I’m a spiritual guru and so I’m not prone to hyperbole or self-aggrandisement.’
Don looked deep into her beautiful, clear eyes and understood that she was speaking honestly. He knew that he could trust her to help him and so he explained his dilemma.
It barely took a moment from finishing his story for Kristina to suggest a plan. She explained that she would lead him on a series of guided meditations in which he would see three visions. He would see the past, the present and the future. Although they may not on first glance directly pertain to him, she assured him that they could be interpreted to get to the root cause of his problems.
With no time like the present, they prepared for the meditation. Kristina took one of the bangles from her graceful wrist and handed it to Don. He instinctively drew it close and knew that he could focus on it to help enter his trance. He closed his eyes and Kristina gently chanted the lyrics to Temptation by Heaven 17. Don felt himself drifting away, and the constant chatter of brilliant ideas that rattled around his brain seemed to go quiet for once.
At the last moment, Kristina whipped out a bottle of Sally Henson Lip Inflator and skilfully painted the viscous substance onto Don’s lips. He felt a strange tingling sensation spread from his lips throughout his body and, before he knew it, he was somewhere else.
Don opened his eyes and was shocked by the how vivid the scene around his was. He was sat down and in front of him laid a railway track. He seemed to be on a bench at a train station. On his lap lay a brown cardboard box and he hung onto it tightly, as if his life depended on its contents. On either side of him, Don saw children dressed in old-fashioned school uniforms. It took a few moments for him to realise that he was also a child and he knew that he was being evacuated to avoid the German bombs. Like a passenger in this body, Don heard himself start to talk to the boy next to him. He started to explain that he hoped to be sent somewhere near to the sea-side. He told the other boy that he planned to build the biggest, grandest sandcastle in the whole of the empire. The sandcastle was going to be built to look like an RAF base and he hoped that it would be realistic enough to act as a decoy, with the Nazis bombing it instead of a real base.
As he finished the sentence, Don felt himself floating away again and with a blink he found himself back in Kristina’s room. She smiled beatifically at him and allowed him the chance to compose himself. When he was ready, he recounted to her exactly what he had saw and heard. He admitted that he couldn’t make sense of it at all; although the vision was set in the past, he couldn’t see how it related to his own past. Kristina said that he needn’t worry as it was her job to interpret the vision and that it was very clear to her what it meant. She told him that his desire to build the biggest sandcastle in the empire reflected a past desire to do something great. The fact that the purpose of the sandcastle was to save lives showed that he wanted his great achievement to help people.
Don was stunned. It was as if Kristina had peered into his very soul. When he was younger he had always felt destined for greatness, but had somewhere lost track of his goals. He was eager to experience his vision of the present and Kristina was more than happy to oblige. He closed his eyes and the Lip Inflator was re-applied.
When Don opened his eyes again he found himself in a small terraced house that looked extremely familiar. He couldn’t put his finger on it until the lady walked out of the kitchen to join him in the living room – it was Deirdre Barlow. He soon realised that he must be Ken Barlow – it was really quite a shock to be in the skin of a living legend. Deirdre handed him a cup of tea and he took a sip of the hot brew. It scalded his lips, and he became lost in how real the vision seemed. His reverie was broken when he realised that Deirdre was talking to him. She was telling him that she was becoming increasingly embarrassed by how old he was. People in the Rovers were constantly making fun of her for having an octogenarian husband, and she was becoming increasingly jealous of Liz McDonald’s antics. She said that she still loved him despite his advancing years. Ken said nothing and sipped his tea. As he drained the cup, Don felt himself drifting away, back to consciousness.
He opened his eyes and this time he immediately began to tell Kristina what had occurred. He couldn’t wait to find out what it all meant. Kristina explained to Don that he was worried about getting older and that he was embarrassed that he hadn’t yet achieved the greatness that he had dreamt of in his youth.
Don was reeling at the revelations. How had he become so side-tracked from his dreams? He knew that he had something special within him that he could share with the world, but he had lost sight of it. He knew that he had become too pre-occupied with worrying about those around him who were not on the same mental level as he. His life was clearly missing an intellectual equal with whom he could share his true feelings.
He couldn’t wait to see what his future vision would reveal and he promptly closed his eyes as Kristina applied the Lip Inflator for the final time.
Don took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He found himself walking on a beautiful beach with pristine white sand between his toes and the crystal clear water gently washing over his feet. He instinctively knew that in this vision he was himself and that the beauty of the beach reflected the tranquillity that he felt in his soul. Even though he was in his own body, he was, once again, a passenger, and he found himself walking toward a beach-side bar. As he got closer he saw that there was a beautiful woman waving at him and he found himself waving back. It was only when he arrived at her table that he realised that the woman was Kristina. He sat down and they began to have a conversation about a book that they had written together. They expressed delight at how many people their words had come to help and how lucky they were to have found each other. If Don hadn’t decided to take a chance and book an appointment with her, then two great minds would never have met. They laughed at their own pomposity, but each knew that the world was a much better place with them as a team. Don felt a sense of inner peace that he had never known before and this feeling made him start drifting back to his corporeal form.
He opened his eyes and Kristina looked at him expectantly, curious to know where he had been. Don simply smiled.
don and kristina sitting in a tree
chanting Om ravi shankar.
your dreams will lead, you to me.
we’ll go to majorca, open a bar
on the beach ,by the sea
and life will be like a tin of caviare
[...] Past, Present and Future – A Story – This is, perhaps, my version of Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. It’s a deeply symbolical story about spirituality and the power of positive thinking. In some ways, you could view it as a kind of ‘magic spell’ that I’ve inserted into the universe in an attempt to alter my own fate. Will I be successful? Only time and a dab of Sally Henson’s Lip Inflator will tell. [...]