Derek and Maureen were working to an extremely tight deadline. Nigel, their boss, had tasked them with preparing the big truck stop presentation for the annual conference and time was ticking away.
They both knew that it was an honour to be asked. The truck stop speech was undoubtedly the most prestigious slot at the whole event, but they were now really starting to feel the pressure. There were only a few hours until their PowerPoint document had to be completed for final approval by Nigel.
The duo had sealed themselves in a meeting room for the day with nothing but a laptop, truck stop literature and their own brains. And probably some drinks and snacks. They were, after all, only human. They somehow managed to spend half the morning discussing the perfect constitution of a fry up. Maureen had insisted that a fried tomato was essential; Derek claimed that a Full English had a two sausage minimum. To the outsider, the debate may have seemed trivial, but to these two professionals, it had been more than worth it. Getting their facts right was essential if they wanted to make the right impression.
With the breakfast matter settled, they felt that they were finally in the home straights, but the final two slides were proving elusive. It didn’t help their progress that Derek was becoming increasingly fascinated by watching Maureen as she typed. It wasn’t just that she was unfeasibly lovely that was drawing him in. He was entranced by her look of sheer concentration as she worked on their project. Derek found himself wishing that she would lavish as much attention on him as she did on the laptop.
What he didn’t know was that Maureen longed to lavish him with the attention he desired but didn’t think it was appropriate because of a misunderstanding. Over a particularly hectic working lunch, the pair had discussed their favourite seafood. Derek had announced that he really loved mussels. Unfortunately, Maureen thought that he meant ‘muscles’ and assumed that he was gay. From that day on she had tried to stay work-orientated and not think too much about Derek and his lovely nose.
Maureen continued to focus on the laptop, much to Derek’s chagrin. As a last, desperate attempt to get her attention Derek told her that he wanted to be her ’monitor pixie’. She looked at him quizzically – it was a term that she had never heard before. He explained that he wished he could be sat behind her monitor whenever she was working on a computer so that he could look at her and chat to her. Maureen assumed that he was being catty. ’Oh, you gay men are all the same. You just want to critique my make up.’
Derek was stunned.
‘But I’m not gay,’ he said. ‘I just like you.’
They both laughed at the ridiculous misunderstanding. She had always thought it was odd that he declared his sexuality in a conversation about fish. She didn’t know what on earth she had been thinking. Derek did admit that he liked Maureen’s muscles and that he was happy to investigate them anytime. She giggled coquettishly at his flirtatious badinage. Refreshed after a moment of hilarity, they found that they now had the impetus they needed to complete the presentation.
When they had finished, Maureen contemplated Derek’s whole ‘monitor pixie’ plan. Yes it was a little weird, but she understood that he really just wanted an opportunity to spend more time with her. She took this as a sign that she was finally able to lavish Derek with the attention that she was desperate to pay him.
With the laptop finally closed, Derek became lost in Maureen’s beautiful eyes as she gazed adoringly at him. As she asked him about his day, he realised that this was everything he had ever dreamt of; a moment of simple connection between two truck stop obsessed professionals. He knew deep inside that their presentation would be the start of a wonderful truck stop filled future.
I’ve got a ticket for that conference. They asked me to present a poster presentation on ‘CB radios to meet women’-an 80s fantasy?’
Gosh, I’m going to have to go and see a ticket tout now. I’d love to find out more about the mysterious world of the CB radio.
I feel a bit sorry for Derek and Maureen though as you’re clearly going to upstage them with your natural performance skills. Then again, they’re so happy that they probably won’t even notice.
There’s a good chance that Nigel will try and headhunt you, so wear your fanciest skirt.
I have a feeling Derek and Maureen woudln’t miss my presentation for the world, and I woudln’t miss theirs. We’re spiritually inseperable through a mutual love of all things ‘truck’. I’m sure their favourite song, like mine, is the thong song for it’s prodigious truck line.
You are certainly a kindred spirit with Dezza and Mo. I too feel a certain kinship with them and hope that we can all get together at the conference and have a coffee and good old fashioned chinwag. Perhaps, if time permits, we can all go to the organised barn dance in the ballroom and really let out collective hairs down.
Maureen certainly has dumps like a truck and is certainly unafraid to use them. It’s almost as though you are sisters, in a way.
[...] The Deadline – A Story – Another beautiful, moving tale about PowerPoint, truck stops, mistaken sexuality and monitor pixies. It’s all the classic ingredients baked into a fresh pie. [...]
[...] Truckstopcon ‘10 that I’ve already written two stories in which it features (here and here). Alas, there was only a brief mention of the truck stop madness, instead there was a riveting [...]