21. Post From The Past – August 2008 - Worth checking out for the emotional Paul Todd shrine.  It’s bringing a tear to my eye just thinking about.

20. My Art – Mungo – It’s a picture of Mungo.

19. My Art – Extreme Makeover: Mungo Style – It’s a picture of Mungo after plastic surgery.

18. My Art – Mungo to Mungette – It’s a picture of Mungo after a sex change.

17. Relaxing – Some of the ways that I like to relax.

16. Sheds on the Move - A celebration of Dr Angel moving her excellent blog to WordPress.

15. Meal Interrupted – An account of a dream that was rudely interrupted by incompetent nincompoops.

14. TS57P – Games, Puzzles and Lies – The Sherby57 Project takes a look at the deeper meaning of games.

13. News Vacation – A Poem – A Poem about the news having a holiday.

12. Loose Women Tighten Grip – Is there more to Loose Women than inane chatter?  You’d better read this post and have your mind blown.

11. Psychic Come Dine With Me – A mentalist spin-off from the popular Channel 4 reality game show.

10. The Alf Stewart Prayer – Sure, we should all be worshipping Alf Stewart, but this proved to be a highly controversial post.

9. International Barn Dance – A simple solution to many of the world’s problems.

8. Cultural Coma – What happens when all the ideas run out?

7. My Art – My Astral Form – This is what I look like when I’m off on my adventures in the multi-verse… possibly.  It’s only an artist’s impression, after all.   And the artist was me.  And I’m not an artist.

6. Stunner\Dog Mystery Finally Solved – One of nature’s true riddles was finally solved by the wonderful Dr Angel.  We can only weep at her magnificence.

5. Voyages Through The Sherbiverse – The Sherby56 Foundation – The story of Sherby56… that’s right 56…

4. Geordie Jokes – Some hilarious jokes based around the Geordie people.  They’re very popular.

3. Fireheart! In History – The Adventures of Captain John Fireheart and 404 Squadron – You’d love to read a story about a version of Fireheart set in the second world war?  By jove, you’re in luck.

2. New Religion Required (Please Vote) – My quest to be crowned Mr Spirituality 2009 started here.  There’s still time to vote, even though it’s a year later.

1. TS57P – The Truth About Potatoes – Potatoes.  You thought they were so simple.  Burscough.  You thought it was just somewhere in Lancashire.  You’re wrong on both counts.  Get reading this. It will change your life.

4. Post From The Past – July 2008 – This featured the PFTP for July 2007 (beautiful, thought-provoking art, such as World Of The Cats; hard-hitting reportage, as we began to look at the Earl Of Evil, Goot The Crow; a chapter of Fireheart; and some goundbreaking fashion).  It also features the controversial poem, Pink Panties.

3. Listen To The Legend 2 – A list of dates and times when Warrington legend, Dave “Dave Burley” Burley appeared on a no longer in existence radio station.  It’s quite the historical document.  Like Chamberlain’s bit of paper, only more important.

2. TS57P – Hurley Burley – More Burley magic.  It’s too complicated\tiring to explain.  Just read it.  You’ll probably learn something important.

1. Watermelanoma – A Poem – A truly epic poem about an adventure I had with a watermelon.

7. The Crow Meets Coraima – Someone used “Goot The Crow” as a tag on a blog post, and that person wasn’t me. Weird, huh? I never did get to the bottom of the mystery, sadly.

6. Hi – A Poem – Quite a weak poem.

5. Post From The Past – June 2008 – The only post listed is the Post From The Past from June 2007. That sounds crap until you realise that June 2007 featured Fireheart, animation and Dave Burley. Check it out. They’re all only 3 clicks away.

4. The Sherby57 Project – This was my attempt to educate you on the true meaning behind many of my blog posts. It was really hard work and that’s why it hasn’t appeared for a while.

3. TS57P – Fire In My Heart – The first real entry in The Sherby57 Project, this post takes a look at why the first two chapters of Fireheart were so very, very significant.

2. Fireheart! In History – Julius Fireheartius – Johnny Fireheart is only the latest incarnation of the ancient Fireheart myth. Have a read of the Roman version. Can you see the parallels to the modern version? If you can’t then you may be brain dead.

1. The 57 Principles Of Sherby – 57 succinct lessons on how to improve your life and spiritual well-being. I’d advise that you read them now.

14. Global Globule – A Poem – A poem that attempts to explain my three month absence.  It’s so obtuse that even I don’t understand it.

13. Post From The Past – February 2008 – This episode of PFTP features a Roy Walker based national anthem, some penis information and the lyrics to the hit song “Crowfinger”.

12. Post From The Past – March 2008 – This episode of PFTP features a moving story about people suffering from Blind-Duh-Date symdrome.

11.  Post From The Past – April 2008 – This episode of PFTP features some staggeringly hilarious jokes.

10. Back – A post which is welcoming myself back to the world of blogging after my adventures.  The most curious thing about the post is that I inexplicably describe myself as being good friends with Stefan Dennis.  We all know that he’s a complete rogue.  I think I must have been suffering from a form of cosmic delirium.

9. Missing In Action – A short post that was written in another dimension.  You don’t get that every day.

8. Star Wars Jokes – These jokes are undoubtedly hilarious, but, let’s be honest, I hate Star Wars.  I only wrote them in a cynical attempt to get some more hits and it failed miserably (9 hits in a year).  It serves me right.

7. Post From The Past – May 2008 – Is this episode of PFTP staggeringly better than the others? No.  Sometimes I just like to pit my posts against each other in an attempt to see which is the strongest.  It is special, though, as it is the first PFTP to feature 3 layers of PFTP.  The universe must be close to exploding.  It also features a poem about a dark rug.

6. Where Is Mindy? – Despite what you may have been led to believe, I am not Mindy Ruson.  No, Mindy is an absolute legend in interior decorating circles.  This is a little post about her.  Strangely, that bounder, Stefan Dennis, has left some comments on this post.  There was even an unanswered comment that I have just replied to.  I don’t like to ignore people, even if it takes me a year.  And even if it’s Stefan Dennis.

5. Happy Birthday – It was the blog’s birthday.  I’m sure you’ll remember to send me a present this year.

4. Toby Carvery – Poetry Challenge – It’s like a rap battle, only it’s poems and they’re poems about roast dinners.  Yummy.

3. My Art – Lucky Cat – A photo of a painting done by yours truly (me).  It was recently sold at auction for £4million.  I didn’t really want to sell it, so I had to buy it myself.

2. Baking A Cake – A Poem – A hauntingly erotic poem based around baking a cake.  My depths know no beginning.

1. A Hazard Of Parsnips – Chapters 5 & 6 – It’s one of the greatest stories ever told.  That’s why it’s number one.

Anyway, I’ll keep this brief.  I flew into the pregnant universe, I got all jammed up in her junk and then I eventually managed to do a bit of cosmic midwifery.   This means that I’m now considered a god in the baby universe.  Bully for me.  Yeah yeah, I know that you’re not interested.

I don’t really understand your attitude.  Here I am, risking my neck to protect all of existence and all you can say is ‘blah blah blah’.  I’ll be honest, I’m really hurt.  What would you rather I talked about?  What I had for tea?  Well, I had a Martian Carrot Curry for my tea.  See?  You don’t even believe that.  I don’t know why I even bother.

Anyway, next time that Post From The Past appears I’ll have actual posts that I’ll be to write about.  I’m sure that will make you happy.  You swine.

I was just about to pack my bags and hop back home when the alarm went off.  It’s quite an old school alarm – red flashing siren, klaxon noise, smell of Febreze etc – and I shot to attention like some kind of crazy soldier.  After checking the myriad of monitors I discovered a huge pregnant universe on a direct collision course with several different planes of existence.  Universes tend to go a bit mental when they’re expecting.  I think it’s something to do with cosmic hormones.

Anyway, this clearly fell within my remit and so I grumpily jumped on my trans-dimensional scooter and headed for action.  If you can call it action.  A pregnant universe is pretty slow moving.  Well, not exactly.  It’s actually not moving at all.  Which totally contradicts the whole ‘collision course’ element of danger that I introduced earlier.  It’s actually very difficult to explain if you’ve never actually visited tran-dimensional space.  You’re just going to have to trust me on this.

Anyway, the important thing to note is that it was all very important and had the potential to bring all of reality crashing down on top of us.  Literally.

Now, there’s not exactly a text book for dealing with rogue pregnant universes so I had to improvise.  This consisted of a few weeks of titting about, to be honest, because I didn’t have a clue what to do.  In the end, I ran out of ideas and decided to just fly straight into her.  That’s when all the trouble started.

I’ll tell you all about it next month.

You probably know all about my life as an agent of Sherby57 – if you don’t, then have a look through some of the posts, here.  In short, we are a secret society that is tasked with maintaining the fabric of reality in this particular universe.   Since this is a secret society, I’d ask you not to mention it to anyone.

Anyway, each universe has its own trans-dimensional lighthouse, where someone has to sit and watch for any fluctuations in the space-time continuum.  It’s as unwanted a task as jury duty, so I was dismayed when last February happened to be my turn on the rota.  It was allegedly only going to last a month, and I luckily got the shortest month, but 28 days sat in a pulsating energy pod is not my idea of fun.  I almost hoped for some kind of apocalyptic event to give me something to do.

Anyway, I packed a lot of books and a few jazz mags and resigned myself to life in the pod.   It was as boring as you would imagine, sat, day after day, literally staring into the abyss.  As time ticked on, it looked like the month was going to pass by completely uneventfully.

Then, just as I was about to go home, typically, something happened that meant that I couldn’t.  Since most of this adventure happened in March, I’ll tell you all about it next month.

9. Post From The Past – January 2008 – A pretty quiet month for Sherby57-land, but there is some Hans Klaussner action, a day trip to the Amazon and a fondly remembered song.

8. The Dust – A Poem – It’s a poem about dust.  What more do I need to say?

7. Shopping List – If I was hypothetically to go shopping then this is my hypothetical shopping list.

6. About Last Night – An open letter to anyone who uses the phrase ‘All the best’.

5. Ten Predictions For 2009 – How many of these predictions came true? Without checking, I’d imagine that it was all of them.

4. The Sherbys – Review of the Year 2008 –  A deep in-depth look back at the year of 2008 on Sherby57.  Read it just because it is long.

3. The Masked Avenger – Warrington’s most courageous super-hero.

2. Burscough And You Know You Are – Dr Angel uncovers yet more information on the whole Burscough potato scandal.

1. Toy Big Brother – Wednesday 14th Jan – I can’t believe that there isn’t a series of Toy Big Brother this year.  I’m gutted.

This is a list of all the number one posts from the year of PFTP.  Last year I organised them in to a ranking order, but this year I can’t be bothered.

Jan: Sherby57 Day Trip – Kayak The Amazon

Feb: Crowfinger

Mar: Blind-Duh-Date Syndrome

Apr: Literally Hilarious Jokes

May: Bit of a Dark Rug – A Poem

Jun: Post From The Past – June 2007

Jul: Pink Panties – A Poem

Aug: Missing Todd

Sep: My Dragon’s Den Pitch

Oct: A Hazard of Parsnips – Chapters 1 & 2

Nov: Elvis

Dec: Show Me Magic

I’m going to have to pick a winner for when I do the Champion of Champions PFTP at some point in the future.  I pick HoP Chapters 1 & 2.  It’s a literary classic.

14. Post From The Past – December 2007 – This contains a few classic posts such as Mike Robot, some blokes on a see-saw, and some Mr Banana-Penis madness.

13. My Art – Elephant Helmet – It’s a helmet on an elephant.

12. My Art – Helmet Elephant – It’s an elephant on a helmet.

11. Christmas Do –  This photograph perfectly sums up what it feels like to be the table at a ‘Christmas do’.

10. Post From The Past – Best of 2007 – This is allegedly a collection of the best posts from 2007.  There are some good ones, so it’s worth checking out.

9. Uninspired – A Poem – A slice of lucid jazz poetry that neatly sums up what it feels like to be completely uninspired.

8. Postal Strike – A controversial post that was both ‘a post’ and ‘not a post’.  This one will baffle philosophy students for years to come.

7. 10 Things You Never Knew About Sherby57 – You didn’t know them, but you do now.

6. Starship Champy –  This is kind of an avant garde poem and a big, teasing riddle.  If you can work out what it all means then you’re a bona fide genius.

5. The Sherby57 On TV Ultimatum – This features a review of everybody’s favourite game show, Fear My Clit.

4. A Hazard of Parsnips – Chapters 3 & 4 – An emotional powerhouse of a novel.  Read it and literally weep.

3. Fireheart! The Movie – Meet the Director – The lazy sod still hasn’t released the film.  The fans are becoming rabid.

2. My Art – Doctor Angel – This is an artist’s impression of the good doc.  But, that artist is me, so it doesn’t look anything like her.  It’s more metaphorical, actually.  It’s not supposed to look like her.

1. Show Me Magic – It’s a drawing, it’s a poem, it’s a biting satire of the ridiculousness of religion.  What more could you want?

Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your hearts content.