The World of Sherby57

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Dec 31

Post From The Past – Best of 2007

by sherby57

Just to wring every last drop from a deeply flawed format, here is the rundown of the best posts of 2007.   This magnificent list is made up from all the number one “Posts From The Past” and rearranged in to a wonderful countdown of pleasure. Or something. 

Will your favourite post be the overall number one? Well, just have a read and find out:

8. Hello Evrybuddy - This makes the list because it was the only post in May, showing how poor this idea is.

7. If I were an American.. - A controversial winner in July, only getting to the top spot through my laziness. In reality it shouldn’t even be in the top seven of July 2007.

6. Join ESA – Earth Song Anonymous - It’s “officially” the world’s most annoying song and it’s about time somebody took a stand against it.

5. Fireheart! Part 5  - A thrilling installment of a monumentally exciting serial. Will we ever see Part 6? Depends on whether or not I can be bothered to be honest.

4. Thumping Hearts – An Exclusive Extract - Only read this if you are prepared to be made extremely hornified.

3. Best. Car. Ever  - It’s not the car itself that’s great, but what’s in it.

2. The Sherbys – Review of the Year 2007 - This had to have a high ranking because of how long it took me to write.   And how much effort it took explains why this years entry hasn’t seen the light of day yet.

1 . Fireheart! Part 1 - The story that started the whole franchise; fortunes have been made, lost and remade with this killer character. 

Until next year (i.e. tomorrow), farewell and as JLS might say, Merry Christmas!


Post From The Past

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Oct 6

Post From The Past – October 2007

by sherby57

Welcome one and all, it’s time once again for the ever unpopular featurette…Post From The Past! Ta Daaaaa!!! October is a spooky time of year (hellowoan time!), so let’s look at the spine-tingling countdown from one year ago!! oooooooooohhh!! (that was a ghost noise rather than an erotic moan):

 

15. My Art – Evil Frog - The frog represents the forces of global capitalism, the goggles are the dreams of hungry orphans. What does it all mean? Think, think and think again.  Your world will be changed forever.

14. Mr Burley in the Year 2007 - Mr Burley completes a fact file that lets us all in to his inner sanctuary.

13. St Helensian for Beginners – Lesson 3 - Can oo speak de Sint Hilens langoo-age? If not, read this, and it will help.

12. How Posh? - Just a small description on just how posh I is.

11. A FAB Tribute - The first appearance of number one Fireheart fan, Chester Spangleton.  That guy rocks!

10. The Sea.. see? – A Poem - A moving poem about the ocean. Can you hear the waves crashing against my heart?

9. Mr Quiff Says… - Don’t mess with Mr Quiff, he’s a nasty piece of work. But with a heart of gold and he loves his old mum.

8. Goot Crow Oz - The Evil Prince spreads his wanton destruction to our antipodean cousins. At this stage, he’s virtually unstoppable.

7. Sheppity Yeppity Yep – Another Poem - So complex, yet so simple. Even I don’t understand it.

6. She Shagged the FA - A conversation I once overheard showing the power of chinese whispers.

5. One was a stunner, one was a dog – A Brainteaser - A very very tricky brainteaser. Many tried to solve it but all failed. Have a read and post your theory on what the answer might be.

4. Pop Shop Plop – A Poem - It rhymes.

3. Sherby57 on TV 2: Sherby57 on TV Harder - The finest TV review column ever written. Well, in my opinion that is.

2. Bullseye Bollocks - Read it and know I’m right. It’s rubbish.

1. Join ESA – Earth Song Anonymous - We have the occasional light-heared feature here at Sherby57, but sometimes we have to tackle gritty social issues. If you have a problem with “Earth Song” by Michael Jackson, then this is the post for you. Essential.

 

And that wraps up the voting for this month.  Until next time, don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do, you cheeky monkeys.

Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your heart’s content.

Post From The Past

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Sep 6

Post From The Past – September 2007

by sherby57

I’ll try not to moan this month, I’ll just get on with it:

8) CHESHTER!  – It’s just a tiny rant. But there is a message from our old friend Chester Spangleton at the bottom. Whatever happened to that guy?

7) Flying Pig – More Evidence - It’s a pig, and it’s got wings. Is this evidence of a global porcine conspiracy? Or is it just dangling from a wire? You decide.

6) Goot in the Ukraine? – Another piece investigating the infamous “Goot The Crow”. Is he connected to footballer Andriy Voronin? Or is it just nonsense?

5) Jimmy Cricket – A wonderful video clip of the legendary comedian appearing in Warrington.

4) Sherby57 Special Achievement Award – Jarvis Cocker is justly praised for his disruption of the heinous “Earth Song”.

3) Fireheart! Part 4- Another thrilling chapter in the life of Johnny Fireheart. We meet the new character, Big Poppa Luigi. I’ll be honest, it’s goes off on something of a tangent.

2) A Typical Sherby57 Weekend – Will the paparazzi never leave me alone?? 

1) Thumping Hearts – An Exclusive Extract – Perhaps the most erotic bit of fiction in the English language. You need to read the whole novel; that’s if you think you can handle constant orgasm. Eve St. Prince is a genius.

See you next month for another installment of nobody’s favoutire feature – Post From The Past!

Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your heart’s content.

Post From The Past

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Oct 21

Join ESA – Earth Song Anonymous

by sherby57

Do you do any of the following?:

  • Drop to your knees and wail whenever you see an elephant on television
  • Use the phrase “What have we done to the world?” in inappropriate conversations.
  • Walk around devastated rain forests in white shirts.
  • Sing “ooooooooooooooo… ooooooooooooooo” when you are supposed to be working.

If you answered yes to one or more of them, you may be addicted to Earth Song.  This is a very common problem and it is time that this serious problem was addressed.

You may be saying to yourself, “Yes I have the symptoms, but I don’t even like Earth Song!”. Don’t worry, this makes it even more likely that you are an addict. But never fear, help is at hand.

At ESA, we know how you feel. Every one of our counsellors is a recovering Earth Song addict (its a disease that can’t be cured but you can learn to live with it).  With our patented 13 step program, you can regain control of your life and your families will start to love you again…. Join today.. We’re here to help.

General Update

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Sep 18

Sherby57 Special Achievement Award

by sherby57

From time to time the Sherby57 team dust off our tuxedos and golden envelopes and present a deserving individual with the Sherby57 Special Acheivement Award aka The SSAA.   It is 11 years since the 1996 Brit Awards, when one man stood up against a crime against music (and humanity).  The first offical SSAA goes to…

 …Jarvis Cocker for his brave attempt to end Michael Jacksons performance of the dreaded Earth Song.   It is generally thought that it was a protest at the inappropriate nature of the performance. Indeed a quote from Cocker himself reveals:

 ”My actions were a form of protest at the way Michael Jackson sees himself as some kind of Christ-like figure with the power of healing… I just ran on the stage… I didn’t make any contact with anyone as far as I recall.”

However surely part of it is that he knew that whoever was watching would have the “song” imprinted on them for life (in the same way that a duckling follows the first thing it sees).  Who else would risk imprisonment to save us from this fate? Maybe Gandhi or someone like that.. but you wouldn’t expect it from a pop singer.

There is the downside that following the debacle, Earth Song went back up the charts and became Jacksons biggest UK hit (It spent 6 weeks at #1!!!). But you can’t fault the effort. Jarvis we salute you.

Watch it here (if you can take hearing that song again!):

General Update

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