Everyone round here seems to say the L-Word these days. Who in their right might would say “lunch” instead of dinner?? Fucking traitors. It’s a disgrace and you should all be ashamed. Do you think you are going to be adopted by the aristocracy if you say it? You won’t. You’ll always be a northern scumbag to them so just get over yourselves already. As the song says:
DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, BATMAN!
Lesson 1 – Going to the Chippy
Lesson 2 – Some common words and phrases
Today’s lesson is short but crucial. It concerns Fe Te – the unnecessary addition.
If you were having a conversation with someone from St Helens you may hear them slip the words “Fe Te” into a sentence and it will leave you baffled. For example:
“Am gowan the shop to fe te get sum milk.”
Which means:
“I’m going to the shop to get some milk.”
As you can see, the Fe Te are essentially just there to fill space. All you need to remember is that these extra words are complete unwarranted and you can carry on your conversation as before.
Good Luck!
Welcome to lesson 2.
Today we will be learning some basic phrases and how to use them in every day St Helens life.
Let’s Begin.
Ha-woah. Wee ooo sit on da churr?
Hello. Will you sit on the chair?
Ave oo sin me diaiarry?
Have you seen my diary?
Yas iss in ma chiwowa..
Yes it’s in my drawer.
Wud yu lik a mill at de Whit App ron?
Would you like a meal at the White Apron?
That’s all for this time – its really is tricky stuff.
If you found this too hard then please go to Lesson 1
Here at Sherby57 we don’t just like to inform and entertain, we also like to educate. I’ve been studying for many years the arcane language of the people of St Helens and have been asked by many for some advice on the basics. So here is the first easy lesson.
Its usually a simple task to go into a chippy and order. Not so if you happen to stray into St Helens. I’ll start with two of the more common words used by the average St Helener.
Split = Chips and Peas
Special = Potato Scallop or Fritter.
Now these may seem straightforward, but because they resemble words in English then confusion could ensue. For example, what would happen if you asked for a Banana Split in St Helens? Nobody wants to eat a banana with peas and chips.
Also be careful if you think about attending the Special Olympics in St Helens. If you turn up you will witness the local sport of racing battered potato slice around a track made from an old cardboard box.
Remember these easy rules and you can enjoy a tasty treat.
Until the next lesson
Farewell
It's a book of this blog.
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