Jean had been single for nearly 5 years, so she couldn’t believe her luck when she first met Graham. He was the new delivery driver for ‘Disco Dave’s Doughnut Disco’ and all the other girls in the office thought he was a hunk. Some of the others had tried flirting with him, but he hadn’t seemed interested.
Jean became friendly with Graham after making him a cup of frothy coffee and discovering a shared love of weaving. Still, he wasn’t going to be interested in dowdy, old Jean, was he?
It was a few weeks later that he first asked her out on a date. At first, she thought she had misheard him and that he was offering her a date. When she realised that he was asking her out, she felt like she was walking on air. She could barely stop herself from genulolling and roffling all over the place. She knew that the other office girls would be jealous, so she managed to keep it to herself.
Those early days of courtship were like a whirlwind of romance. Graham treated her like a real lady, he bought he bags of dried fruit and countless pairs of glass slippers. She couldn’t believe that this was happening to her, at her age, and could feel herself falling head over heels. Her joy seemed complete when Graham admitted that he loved her and that he wanted to make her his wife. Yes yes yes! She was truly the happiest woman in the world.
There was a certain amount of jealousy from her work colleagues, but, on the whole, they were happy for her. She’d had a hard life, with her concrete fingers, and she deserved some happiness. The wedding was arranged before she almost knew it, and she trembled as she walked down the aisle, toward the love of her life.
Things started to go wrong almost immediately. They had a lovely wedding reception, and Graham gave a touching and moving speech. She could barely wait to get to the honeymoon suite. Graham had insisted that they waited until their wedding night to consummate their love, and she had found this endearing, if not a little frustrating.
They went to room and she put on a brand new bri-nylon nightie in order to look as seductive as possible. Graham went to the bathroom carrying a mysterious container that she’d never seen before, and, when he emerged, she was horrified. He was completely covered in insects. He told her that he loved the insects as much as he loved her, and he hoped that she would learn to love them too. Jean ran from the room in floods of tears, her heart broken.
After calling the police, they soon discovered that Graham wasn’t even his real name and that he’d left a string of brides up and down the country, all left traumatised by insects. ’Graham’ was never apprehended, so the next time you meet a hunky delivery driver, just beware of bugs.
now:
