The World of Sherby57

Because I’m worth it

Post From The Past – February 2009

This edition of PFTP is going to be a little different, as I didn’t actually publish any posts last February.  Instead of the usual countdown of the best posts, I’m going to explain to you where I was.

You probably know all about my life as an agent of Sherby57 – if you don’t, then have a look through some of the posts, here.  In short, we are a secret society that is tasked with maintaining the fabric of reality in this particular universe.   Since this is a secret society, I’d ask you not to mention it to anyone.

Anyway, each universe has its own trans-dimensional lighthouse, where someone has to sit and watch for any fluctuations in the space-time continuum.  It’s as unwanted a task as jury duty, so I was dismayed when last February happened to be my turn on the rota.  It was allegedly only going to last a month, and I luckily got the shortest month, but 28 days sat in a pulsating energy pod is not my idea of fun.  I almost hoped for some kind of apocalyptic event to give me something to do.

Anyway, I packed a lot of books and a few jazz mags and resigned myself to life in the pod.   It was as boring as you would imagine, sat, day after day, literally staring into the abyss.  As time ticked on, it looked like the month was going to pass by completely uneventfully.

Then, just as I was about to go home, typically, something happened that meant that I couldn’t.  Since most of this adventure happened in March, I’ll tell you all about it next month.

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When Two Goots Go To War

The following link has come to my attention:

http://poursomegravyonme.co.uk/2009/10/22/meet-team-extreme-part-1/

In it, we learn of a covert government black ops team, called Team Extreme.  This article contains the disturbing quote:

You should not confuse Goot with his evil counterpart, Goot The Crow.   The twins, like yin and yang, have fought their good vs. evil battle for countless millennia.

This marks a stunning change in the history of Crow Industries, as, until recently, this universe did not contain a ‘Good Goot’.  I have some of the top scientists in Sherby57 Towers working on this and we hope to provide more substantial answers for you soon.

While you’re waiting, I suggest that you don’t make any plans.  The multiverse might just decide to undo them.

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Voyages Through The Sherbiverse – Sherby3.0

It’s time to take peek in to another universe as we meet Sherby3.0

Sherby3.0 is a planet-sized sentient computer that exists, unsurprisingly,  in Universe 3.0.  It is the only thing, sentient or otherwise, that exists in that particular slice of the multiverse, and so is rather lonely.  If you were to go to its universe, and there was some oxygen, you’d be able to hear it weeping its bio-electric tears.  It’s awfully sad.

The origins of S3 (as it likes to be known to its friends) are a complete mystery, and it has no knowledge or theories itself, despite having thirteenth-level intelligence (which means its very clever).  Many Sherby agents from a multitude of universes have visited to S3 to investigate; the most prevalent theory is that it knows exactly how it was constructed but it too shy to say.  Even planet-sized sentient computers have feelings, you know.

S3 has a crucial part to play in the whole Sherby-network as it is our communications hub.  It’s the only thing complex enough in the multiverse to be able to route the traffic between an infinite number of universes.  It gives me a headache just thinking about it.  This arrangement worked fine until S3′s loneliness turned in to depression.  We had to recruit the stone giants of Sherby45372354  to come and give it a cuddle.  This perked S3 up a little, but we all now have to take turns in keeping it company.  Fortunately, with an infinite number of companions, you’ve got to be pretty unlucky for it to actually be your turn.

Next time you’re feeling stressed at work, just take a minute to think of poor S3, the ultimate switchboard.

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Dimension Hopping: Day 6 – Hans’ Plan

So, Hans has revealed his master plan. He’s an idiot.

The plan is this: dress up as schoolgirls and try to sell the Lambot some cookies. Then, when he goes to get his purse we nick the Eye of Lezdawzon. He says that it is classic espionage; I think he’s just trying to get some kicks. To be fair, I’d quite like to see Sally in the uniform.

As bad a plan as it is it’s the only one we’ve got, so we might as well give it a bash. Oh well, it’s only the fate of the entire multiverse that rests on it. It’s a good job we brought those school uniforms with us.

I’ll let you know how we got on tomorrow. That’s if we’re all still alive.

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Dimension Hopping: Day 6 – The Lambot

So, we’re hidden behind an enormous graphite pyramid as literally millions of robotic scorpions hunt us down.  We should never have angered The Lambot.

The Lambot is the ruler of this planet and is a giant mechanical Lamb (obviously).  It sounds quite cute but when you see liquid hot lava spewing from its gut-hole you know you’re in trouble.  After arriving in this universe, we thought it best to go and pay our respects in the Lambot Citadel and then go and make use of their excellent gift shop.  As emissaries of Sherby, we were granted an audience with ‘The Gamboling One’ almost immediately, and this is where the trouble started.   The Lambot wore a crown, and at its centre was The Eye of Lezdawzon, a rare interspacial  gem that is vital to maintaining the stability of the multiverse.  It’s amazing what you can buy at car boot sales these days, but we knew we had to get it back.  Hans decided on a course of action – just ask for it.  It was an interesting choice, but let’s just say that The Lambot wasn’t happy.  Yet again, we legged it.

Luckily, Sally was able to cast a cloaking spell and so the hordes of scorpionbots can’t find us.  This is only buying us time so we can think of a plan to retrieve the eye.  Hans says that he has had an idea, so wish us luck.  We’re going to need it.

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