The World of Sherby57

Because I’m worth it

Post From The Past – July 2009

There were only four Sherby57 posts in July of 2009.  This means that I had a very lazy month, which is bad.  It also means that PFTP is very easy to complete, which is good.

4. Post From The Past – July 2008 – This featured the PFTP for July 2007 (beautiful, thought-provoking art, such as World Of The Cats; hard-hitting reportage, as we began to look at the Earl Of Evil, Goot The Crow; a chapter of Fireheart; and some goundbreaking fashion).  It also features the controversial poem, Pink Panties.

3. Listen To The Legend 2 – A list of dates and times when Warrington legend, Dave “Dave Burley” Burley appeared on a no longer in existence radio station.  It’s quite the historical document.  Like Chamberlain’s bit of paper, only more important.

2. TS57P – Hurley Burley – More Burley magic.  It’s too complicated\tiring to explain.  Just read it.  You’ll probably learn something important.

1. Watermelanoma – A Poem – A truly epic poem about an adventure I had with a watermelon.

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Post From The Past – Best of 2008

Rather confusingly, PFTP generates the best post of last year this year.  Sorry about any distress that this causes you.

This is a list of all the number one posts from the year of PFTP.  Last year I organised them in to a ranking order, but this year I can’t be bothered.

Jan: Sherby57 Day Trip – Kayak The Amazon

Feb: Crowfinger

Mar: Blind-Duh-Date Syndrome

Apr: Literally Hilarious Jokes

May: Bit of a Dark Rug – A Poem

Jun: Post From The Past – June 2007

Jul: Pink Panties – A Poem

Aug: Missing Todd

Sep: My Dragon’s Den Pitch

Oct: A Hazard of Parsnips – Chapters 1 & 2

Nov: Elvis

Dec: Show Me Magic

I’m going to have to pick a winner for when I do the Champion of Champions PFTP at some point in the future.  I pick HoP Chapters 1 & 2.  It’s a literary classic.

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Post From The Past – September 2008

Post From The Past fans rejoice! It’s time for this month’s….wait for it….Post From The Past!! September 2008 was a busy month for Sherby57, so let’s get stuck in:

15.  Chester Neat-O - Fireheart! superfan, Chester Spangleton, made a rare blog update, and we celebrate this fact here.  Chester has not updated his blog since 11th September 2008, and we’re all very worried about him.  Chester, if you’re out there, please get in touch.

14.  Crow History - Bits and pieces related to our endless quest to squash Goot The Crow’s evil empire.

13.  A Joke I Was Once Told –  The more astute amongst you will have realised that this joke was terrible. However, it was one that I was genuinely told, and so it was important to pass it on. Is there hidden meaning contained within its weak punnage?

12.  Post From The Past – September 2007 – September 2007 was an interesting month in the life of Sherby57.  There is a video of Jimmy Cricket, Jarvis Cocker receives an award, there’s a photo of me having a good time with two of Eastenders’ finest and there is an extract from an extremely erotic novel.  What more could you want?

11.  A New Fragrance For Men - Are you a man? Would you like to smell like pink panties? If so, then click this link and read all about a fantastic new aftershave.

10.  My Art – IPhone Boy -  My first foray in to IPhone based art.  Who is the boy in the picture?  Do you recognise him? You should, by now, have realised that everything here is connected.

9.  Mindy Ruson’s Style Emporium - My good friend Mindy Ruson started a blog, and did not continue.  It’s not too late to start a campaign to get her to update her (would be) wonderful blog.

8.  Toaster Amnesty Hits Warrington - A Nazi-style toaster collection took place in Warringon, in a quest to end toaster-related crime.  Did it work? And what was the sinister reason behind the confiscations?

7.  My Art – IPhone Boy 2 - Another moving portrait, another mystery.  Who is this second man? Why do his eyes glow red?

6.  Toast Conspiracy? - A follow up article on the infamous Warrington toaster amnesty.  Contains the “Sherby57 Comment of the Year 2008″ from Russell Hobbs.

5.  Hans Across America - My good buddy, Hans Klaussner, fills us in on his transatlantic adventure.

4.  Toast Me – A Poem - Emotional poetry was the only was I could describe the horror of Toastergate.

3.  Simon Cowell: Dream Smasher - A short discourse on the nature of Simon Cowell’s impact on the war for reality.

2.  Never Say Sherby57 on TV Again - A TV review including the documentary, Inside The Institute, and the reality TV classic, Celeb Kebab House.

1.  My Dragon’s Den Pitch - A verbatim transcript of my failed Dragon’s Den pitch.  I just don’t understand why they didn’t invest, they’ve lost themselves an awful lot of money. Idiots.

On that sour note, we conclude this months journey of reminiscence. Until next month, keep reading.


Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your hearts content.

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Post From The Past – July 2008

Here are the lovely posts from July 2008 (all two of them):

2. Post From The Past – July 2007 – Looking back at a classic month for The World Of Sherby57.  There was beautiful, thought-provoking art, such as World Of The Cats.  There was hard-hitting reportage, as we began to look at the Earl Of Evil, Goot The Crow.  There was a chapter of Fireheart, and some goundbreaking fashion.  There was a also a very controversial winner.  Take a look at the goodness.  As they say: ‘Mr Sherby57, with theese Post From The Past, you are really spoiling us’.

1. Pink Panties – A Poem – A post that combines my two favourite things: Poetry and Pink Panties. What more could you want?

Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your hearts content.

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A Hazard of Parsnips – Chapters 1 & 2

Please read Chapter 1 here.

Now read the next thrilling installment of “A Hazard of Parsnips”:

Chapter 2

 Dearest One 

 Upon reading your latest missive, I felt my egg sack fill with a viscous fluid, lo, it could only be the stirrings of love. Or indigestion.

 I have perceived your delightful being for many a mickelmas now and have scrubbed my physique daily with the sweet temptation of beetroot, hoping my aroma would entice you within my web. Oh sweet victory is mine.  Oh how I wept tears of joy as I read your magical words, conjuring worlds not yet known to man. Every customer who crossed my threshold since has shared my blessing (in the form of a free turnip or novelty tea towel featuring rude dog and the dweebs).

 This morn I didst travel to the town square and unravelled a roll of the finest linoleum.  Donning my Sunday-best shell suit, I began to ‘break-dance’ with gay abandon, somewhat reminiscent of a whirling dervish.  All the townsfolk remarked on this startling transformation in a man so masculine as myself, little did they know that it was you, only you, that fuelled my excited Windmill.

 Alas, news doth travel swiftly in our fair county of Kinkisex.  A travelling minstrel shared a tale of your impending nuptials to the arrogant Lord Edmonds of Swapshop. Say it ain’t so baby! I know your father would not approve of my quaffing of Stella and my accompanying “Wifebeater” tattoo, but please rebel and repel his wishes; our love must be consummated. Doggy style.

 What comes now must be left to fate. I stand here, serving my brethren, thinking only of you. I beseech you to deliver me a pair of your pinkest panties with your next letter, I covert that purest fabric.

 I wait impatiently to hear from you again.

Yours in perpetuity

Clarence Crapper

Sole Proprietor of Barrell O’ Parsnips

Fruit & Veg Emporuim – “Let us root you!” 

 

Continue, if you dare, to the next nailbiting chapters here.

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