The Review Show
On BBC2
Simultaneously intrigues
And makes me feel blue
They discuss the arts
Opinions they vent
It helps to tickle
My intellectual bent
I often drink
From their cerebral cup
But a lot of the time
I wish they’d fucking shut up
On The Train – A Poem
On the train
It’s really humid
Its a bit of a nightmare
Nothing rhymes with humid
Trumid?
Pumid?
Lumid?
Stumid?
It doesn’t work
My time it is torrid
And don’t forget
Humidity is horrid
Terry Nutkins – A Poem
Terry Nutkins
With his mane
But bald on top
I’m going insane.
I remember back
When I was a child
A sexy man
He was really wild
In my dreams
He always features
Sat on his lap
I’m one of his creatures
His nickname for me
He calls me his slutkins
Oh, how I love thee
Terry Nutkins
My Pie – A Poem
You took my pie
Without my say so
It was so delicious
Meat and potato
Your teeth in my crust
The pastry did crumble
Then when you swallowed
My heart took a tumble
The truth is apparent
To share, I was willing
But you helped yourself
And devoured my filling
So Cool, So Tired – Hot New Lyrics!
When I see you, baby
I’m at the end of my tether
Cos you’re looking so fly, girl
When you’re wearing your pleather
Cos we’re keeping a secret
Yeah, you and me
Baby, let’s go home
And have a cup of tea
When we’re together
We’re looking so cool, yo
But, girl, we shoulda been home
An hour ago
You’re rocking that dress
You’re quite the sight
But it’s getting kind of late, yeah
It is a work night
Cos baby, when we’re together
Nothing can harm us
So let’s get home
And put on pyjamas
When we’re together
We’re looking so cool, yo
But, girl, we shoulda been home
An hour ago
