The World of Sherby57

Because I’m worth it

Sep 18

Dimension Hopping: Day 4 – Sherby44

by sherby57

Having had a good night’s sleep in a lovely little B&B we jumped dimensions to visit our good friends of Sherby44.  Universe 44 is entirely composed of energy, so there is nothing to stand on.  The wraith-like beings that live there have to telekinetically hold on to you and suspend you in mid-air, which is particularly pleasant as their energy tendrils fill your body with almost orgasmic sensations – no prizes for guessing why we chose to visit.  Strangely, for an energy only universe, the atmosphere is oxygen rich, which doesn’t make sense, but is exceptionally convenient for us.

Our Sherby44 colleagues have asked us to assist in helping to plug a hyperspace fart, a very nasty little phenomenon,  so we’re off to do that after a nice brew (we brought several flasks with us).  Hans is totally distracted as he has been getting lots of attention from Dr Angel (read the comments section of this post).  Sally is curiously acting extremely jealously, and is jiggling her bits constantly; it’s actually making me feel a bit sea sick.  Humans, eh?

Right, we’re about to go and stop a fart, see you later.

Dimension Hopping

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Sep 17

Dimension Hopping: Day 3 – An Unusual Menu

by sherby57

Well, that could have gone better.

We turned up at the banquet (on time for once) and paid our respects to The Navratilova, ‘the supreme head of all things leaderly for the fair borough of Patcash’. We had to sing a power ballad to him to prove our loyalty. I sang ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ by Foreigner and because they’d never heard it before, they thought I was a musical genius. Sally and Hans provided admirable backing vocals, although Sally was a little pitchy.

After the ceremony, we sat down as the guests of honour overlooking a huge hall. We were quite happy until we realised that Hans was being gently basted, and it became increasingly obvious that he was on the menu. All being experienced adventurers, we kept calm and all said that we were going to the toilet, then we legged it.

Apparently, the Patcashians didn’t take too kindly to this and promptly assembled an angry mob. And, as mutants, they made a particularly angry looking mob.

We’re currently hid behind a bin, so I’m hoping for an emergency transfer out of here soon. Fingers crossed.

Dimension Hopping

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Sep 16

Dimension Hopping: Day 2 – Docking With Barbara

by sherby57

I’d like to tell you that the journey has been arduous and exciting, but it’s actually been rather pleasant and relaxing. Derek is an incredibly hospitable host and has gone out of his way to make the voyage as smooth as possible. And he’s made out of sponge, so he’s very comfy.

Hans suggested that we go swimming at one point, but this was dismissed as the sea consisted of vinegar. We don’t want to smell like chips for the next week. It crossed my mind that he was just trying to get Sally to strip off, but maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions.

Derek provided us a delicious meal of something that resembled large deformed prawns. To be honest, they could have been anything, but it’s best not to ask questions.

Anyway, we’ve not long since arrived at Barbara, and Sally and Derek are involved in a three way mental discussion. Early indications suggest that she would be happy for us to ‘come aboard’.

While that’s been going on, Hans and myself have been calculating the distance to the fabled city of Patcash. It looks like it’s going to be a bit of a trek, and there’s clearly no taxi rank.

I better go and see how Sally is doing, it looks like it’s going to be a long day.

Dimension Hopping

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Sep 15

Dimension Hopping: Day 1 – Meet Derek

by sherby57

I’ve finally woken up. Some people may think that seven hours sleep is excessive when you’re on a mission in a parallel universe. They’re idiots though, you can’t beat nap time.

The sun, such as it is, has risen and we’ve got a better idea of where we are. The light given off by the feeble star is a kind of sickly green colour so looking around too much makes you feel nauseous.

We were correct in thinking that we’re on the back of a giant sponge whale; Sally has made telepathic contact and his name is Derek. On this planet, Derek means ‘he who is a gigantic sea mammal made of porous material and is rather a nice guy actually’. Derek is taking us towards Barbara, a fellow sponge-whale continent on whose back is located the great domed city of Patcash.

Hans is dangling his feet over the edge of Derek and splashing. The ocean consists of a substance very similar to malt vinegar. I wish I had some chips with me.

I’ll let you know when we reach Barbara.

Dimension Hopping

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Sep 15

Dimension Hopping: Day 1 – Arrival

by sherby57

Well, we’re here. Wherever here is.

The journey was a bit rough, you never really get used to being turned inside out and shoved forcibly through a trans-dimensional membrane.

After a quick wash (the mucus gets everywhere), we surveyed our surroundings as best we could; it’s completely pitch black. Our best guess is that we’re on the back of a continent-sized sponge-whale. Hopefully the sun will come up soon and I can confirm it. If there is a sun.

Hans and Sally are arguing about toothpaste, so I’m going to get some kip. Will update you when I wake.

Dimension Hopping

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