The World of Sherby57

Because I’m worth it

Apr 7

Sherby57 on TV on Ice

by sherby57

Greetings to you one and all.

It’s been a whole six months since I last brought you some TV reviews and it’s time that I brought you some more.  So I am doing.  I’ll start with the awful new US drama, Fries With That (Saturday).  It’s the everyday tale of a bunch of glamorous teens who work in a LA fast food restaurant.  These kind of overly-glossy shows are ridiculous at the best of times, but FWT really takes the piss.  This week’s ‘dramatic’ storyline involves Cindy having to leave the restaurant early for an audition, but can’t because she has to mop the floor.  I don’t even understand why she’s working there – she drives a brand-new BMW and lives in a mansion.  Absolutely bonkers.

Next up is yet more shit drama.  Does anybody remember short-lived interactive drama Text City Hospital?  Well the format has been unwisely resurrected in the guise of police drama Tweet Town Blue (Monday).  Yet again, there is no script and all lines are provided by the audience.  This time, however, the producers have decided that Twitter is trendier and so that’s where all the suggestions come from.  It’s no more successful than texting, as is evidenced by this sample of dialogue from last week:

PC GROWTH:  gettin bladdered tonight, cnt w8

SUSPECT: I’ve just got out of the bath and I’m going to watch 24 on DVD.

PC GROWTH: RT @SUSPECT I’ve just got out of the bath and I’m going to watch 24 on DVD. //LOL

SUSPECT:  I can’t believe I’m watching This Morning.  It’s well boring.

ETC

Anyway, I feel like I should end on a positive note and luckily I’ve been loving the latest series of Antwatch (weeknights).  Terry Nutkins and Kate Humble bring us live coverage of an ant’s nest in the grid in front of Terry’s house.  Sometimes they pour boiling water down the grid out of a kettle.   They need to kill a few as Terry’s wife is terrified that some flying ants will get into the house.  Nature programmes of this variety are what British TV does best.

Until next time, keep watching telly.

Sherby57 on TV

3 Comments »
Jan 21

A Window onto the Police Force

by sherby57

Sherby57 Television Productions are proud to announce a new 6-part drama series: Bottle & Glass.

St Helens is a town run by glass and glass products.  In order to fight the ever-escalating levels of window related crime, the SHPD have formed a special task force.

Danny Bottle (Shane Ritchie) is a local-lad made good, a play-it-by-the-book copper who has a winning smile and a kind heart.

Vince Glass (Ray Winstone) has moved to St Helens from Widnes, and struggles to fit in with the local ways.  He’s a maverick and isn’t afraid to speak quite loudly if it gets the job done.

Together they are Bottle & Glass, the ultimate odd couple who must overcome their differences to bring sanity back to a town gone mad.  The first episode starts with a bang as a local councillor (Bob Carolgees)  has his windows smashed on his conservatory…with another type of window.  Will Bottle & Glass be able to find the culprit before scandal hits the town hall?

Watch Bottle & Glass, Wednesdays 9pm, to find out.

General Update Sherby57

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Dec 9

Post From The Past – December 2008

by sherby57

I hate Post From The Past.  Why on earth did I start doing it? I now feel compelled to continue.  It’s like a form of eternal damnation.  That said, please enjoy this month’s offering:

14. Post From The Past – December 2007 – This contains a few classic posts such as Mike Robot, some blokes on a see-saw, and some Mr Banana-Penis madness.

13. My Art – Elephant Helmet – It’s a helmet on an elephant.

12. My Art – Helmet Elephant – It’s an elephant on a helmet.

11. Christmas Do –  This photograph perfectly sums up what it feels like to be the table at a ‘Christmas do’.

10. Post From The Past – Best of 2007 – This is allegedly a collection of the best posts from 2007.  There are some good ones, so it’s worth checking out.

9. Uninspired – A Poem – A slice of lucid jazz poetry that neatly sums up what it feels like to be completely uninspired.

8. Postal Strike – A controversial post that was both ‘a post’ and ‘not a post’.  This one will baffle philosophy students for years to come.

7. 10 Things You Never Knew About Sherby57 – You didn’t know them, but you do now.

6. Starship Champy –  This is kind of an avant garde poem and a big, teasing riddle.  If you can work out what it all means then you’re a bona fide genius.

5. The Sherby57 On TV Ultimatum – This features a review of everybody’s favourite game show, Fear My Clit.

4. A Hazard of Parsnips – Chapters 3 & 4 – An emotional powerhouse of a novel.  Read it and literally weep.

3. Fireheart! The Movie – Meet the Director – The lazy sod still hasn’t released the film.  The fans are becoming rabid.

2. My Art – Doctor Angel – This is an artist’s impression of the good doc.  But, that artist is me, so it doesn’t look anything like her.  It’s more metaphorical, actually.  It’s not supposed to look like her.

1. Show Me Magic – It’s a drawing, it’s a poem, it’s a biting satire of the ridiculousness of religion.  What more could you want?

Disclaimer – This is an extremely self-indulgent feature and is a cynical attempt to recycle stuff that I have written in the past in the vain hope that someone will actually read them. Please feel free to slag off “Post From The Past” to your hearts content.

Post From The Past

7 Comments »
Sep 24

Strictly Sherby57 on TV

by sherby57

The week’s TV kicks off with a new series of Bobby Makeup: Bad Magician (Monday), in which bad magician, Bobby Makeup, attempts to make a ball disappear from under a cup.  Needless to say, he fails miserably.  It’s a brave decision to have a magic show featuring someone completely inept at illusion.  It’s brave but ultimately stupid, it’s an awful show and completely cringe-inducing.  Make sure you watch it.

Another ill-advised format is the interactive medical drama, Text City Hospital (Wednesday).  We’re now 12 episodes in to the run and it still isn’t any slicker.  For those of you lucky enough not to have seen it, here’s how it works:  The cast are given an initial script which lasts for the first 5 minutes of the show and then the viewers are invited to send text messages of all subsequent lines of dialogue.  All the suggestions are processed by super-drama computer, Harry, and the ‘best’ lines are fed in to a autocue on the set.  This would be fine if the technology weren’t 50 years behind where it should be for such a project.  This is best demonstrated by an extract of a scene from last week:

DR BUNGALOW: Wot iz da mata wiv u

PATIENT: suk ma cock u nob

NURSE: I’ve got a big penis, do u want to see it?

DR BUNGALOW: Errrr u iz mingin

etc

Please don’t watch this show, it will probably reduce your IQ.  Finally this week is hit game show Fish Cake or Not Fish Cake (Friday), in which contestants compete to win a £25,000 jackpot if they can correctly identify a fish cake.  Like many of these shows, it’s completely random, but host John Fashanu manages to build up the tension and it makes for riveting viewing.  It’s no coincidence that fish cake sales have soared by 300% since the series began.

Keep on watching telly, it might just save your life.

Sherby57 on TV

5 Comments »
Sep 8

The Sherby57 on TV Factor

by sherby57

It’s been a long time since the last Sherby57 on TV column, but television has continued its inexorable slide towards oblivion, regardless. It’s time to catch up.

The latest US sensation has finally crossed the Atlantic, as we finally have chance to watch, Bradley Schwarzer: Writer (Thursday).  The tale of a literary novelist, this has been the most critically acclaimed TV show for years, despite dismal ratings in the States.  The action, such as it is, revolves around Schwarzers’ attempts to write his masterwork, A Journey of Eyes.  The opening episode sees the eponymous author sat at his desk with his laptop, and we see his increasing frustration as he struggles to choose the opening word of his magnum opus.  Watch for the exciting scene when he goes to make a cup of coffee.

Peabody Place (Monday, Tuesday – 2 episodes, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday -3 episodes, Saturday, Sunday omnibus) continues apace with the locals attempting to halt the progress of the genetically mutilating virus.  Elsewhere, Cedric worries about the viability of his organic cafe during the credit crunch.  Still the best soap on TV.

Finally, for this week, we take a look at moronic game show, Say Yes and Lose (weeknights).  The object of the game is to have a conversation with host, Kenny G, without saying the word ‘yes’.  If you say it, you lose.  Despite the idiotic premise, the show is drawing 4 million viewers every night.  Can so many people really be wrong? Yes, they can.

Sherby57 on TV

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